Our motorbike trip has ended abruptly as though it never was. Now we’re in the busy city of Chiang Mai, Thailand, neck deep in piles of work. It’s difficult to imagine that just a few weeks ago we were zipping along quiet winding roads, pretending there was no such thing as Facebook or Twitter or Gangnam Style.
Scrap that.
At least one rendition of Gangnam Style can be heard from any location on earth at any given time, which also means that least one person in my peripheral vision is performing the invisible horse at any given time. It’s an epidemic, people!
(Note to self: Buy earplugs. And a burlap head sack.)
To stay motivated, we’re splurging on a lovely little penthouse, which overlooks the cluster of homes, hotels, and gold-adorned temples that make up the city of Chiang Mai. It’s all of $30 per night.
From this place, we’re preparing for a new adventure.
In one month, my book is launching in Australia and New Zealand!
Allow me to pause a moment while I perform the invisible horse…
\o) (o/
|\ /|
“Ohp! Ohp-ohp-ohp-ohp…”
Nee-he-he-he-rrr-gh. Torre, stop. You’re embarrassing yourself. Again.
We’ll soon be heading home to Melbourne to begin preparations, which, for me, means accepting that I can no longer get around looking like a derelict bohemian nomad. (Do I remember how to do my hair and makeup? Do I own one single pair of underpants that haven’t disintegrated into a crotch held up by dust bunnies?)
I get to see my family and friends again! Being away from them is always the hardest part of travel, but that doesn’t matter right now because I’M GOING HOME!
\o) (o/
|\ /|
“Ohp! Ohp-ohp-ohp-ohp…”
Nee-he-he-he-rrr-gh. Torre! Seriously! Cut. This. Shit. Out.
We’re a month away from book launch #1, and everything has suddenly kicked into high gear. Emails are flying back and forth between publicists and agents and magazine editors.
Freelance graphic design, illustration, and writing work has begun flowing in too, of course. I’m spending ten hours or more in front of the computer, and I’m too excited to sleep.
And! And! I have something to show you…
Warning: If you are in the US, Canada, the UK, or Brazil, then I’ve been instructed by my publicists to tell you to cover your head with a burlap sack and leave it on until mid-year. If you’re Aussie or a Kiwi, read on:
Hey! I see you trying to sneak a look, dude from New Jersey. I said git oudda here!
I’d like to introduce you to somebody.
This little baby has been in production for a very long time. From living the adventure, to decompressing afterwards, to writing about it, to editing back, to self-publishing, to being discovered by publishers, to editing again, to waiting, waiting, waiting, to going crazy, to—finally!—the book’s release into the world.
It has been the longest, most excruciating, most joyous gestation period ever. My memoir begins with me at age 24 waking up in a strange bed with a strange man. I’m 32 years old now (yet no less reckless and stupid). Counting the time it took to live the story, this book has taken nine years of my life!
It has been worth every single moment.
And now …
I give you …
Hey! You! Canadian guy! Don’t make me get the garden hose out because I WILL DO IT.
Eh-hem.
I give you …
My book cover:
This is the Penguin release, due out Feb 27. North America has a different cover. This version is only available to those stranded on the islands of Australian or New Zealand. (We’re beached es, bru!)
If, like me, you’re lucky enough to call this giant blazing-bushfire-cum-flood-land your home, you can preorder Love with a Chance of Drowning on Bookworld right now! Do it.
If you’re in any other part of the world, you’ll have to wait until mid-year.
I’m sorry. I know. It’s not fair. It’s like dealing with Apple. Or it’s like being an Australian in the 80’s and seeing Hollywood blockbusters advertised six months before the film reel travels across the Pacific (by sea turtle?) to finally reach the rundown, sticky, heavy-petting-zoo otherwise known as The Only Cinema In Town, You Inbred Convicts.
It sucks. I really feel for you. I wish there was something I could do. (Bwah-ha-ha! How do you like it now? Huh? Who’s beached es now? HUH?)
But here’s some good news: I’ll be posting out some advance copies to bloggers prior to the launches. I don’t yet know the specifics of this (numbers, dates, etc) but if you have a blog and you’re interested in reading the book, please sign up here and I’ll do my best to send a copy over via sea turtle.
Meanwhile, add the book to your Goodreads To Read list.
Like it on Facebook.
And—by strict orders from Mr. Ed—stop doing the invisible horse.
Nee-he-he-he-rrr-gh! Do you know how many times I’ve been ridden in the last six months? My invisible spine has been pushed out my invisible butthole. THAT’S how many times. Message to the world: DISMOUNT!
Torre DeRoche is the author of two travel memoirs, Love with a Chance of Drowning (2013) and The Worrier’s Guide to the End of the World (due out September 2017). She has written for The Atlantic, The Guardian Travel, The Sydney Morning Herald, Emirates, and two Lonely Planet anthologies.
100 Response Comments
OMG TORRE!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am so pumped for you and cannot wait to buy the North American version of your book for myself, my sister, my mother, my in-laws, my best friends and for that woman who used to sell me coffee every morning.
WHAT A DREAM COME TRUE.
I’ll have to arrange a Costco-style bulk discount for you. Thanks for your support over the last two years, Kim. I adore you, even though I’ve yet to meet you.
Congratulations!
Thanks Gigi!
My dad wants a copy. Apparently he can read.
You is going to be ‘uge bru.
x
That is the most INCREDIBLE COMPLIMENT EVER. He can add it to his GoodReads account. 😉
How very exciting! Good luck with it all and I can’t wait to read it. Loving Mr. Ed by the way. You crack me up! 🙂
Nee-he-he-he-rrr-gh! 🙂
Big news indeed! Congratulations Torre – your book is definitely a must read!
Thanks, Gillian. See you soon in Chiang Mai, I hope!
Gorgeous little penthouse–hysterical post–and palpable excitement shining through. Can’t wait!!!! (I’ll need a copy asap) 😉 XXXXX
You know, I might even sign a copy for you, Mum. 😉
Congrats. Wish you all the success in the world. Well deserved.
Thanks, Michael. I really appreciate it.
So exciting! I can’t wait to read it! Will you be doing an event in the Canberra area?
Thanks, Mandy. I’m probably not going to head to Canberra. I think I’ll mostly be Melbourne-based, maybe Sydney if we get some good publicity gigs.
I absolutely love the cover! I was very lucky to get a chance to read your self-published version and now I can’t wait to read this one!!!
A big congratulations of finally giving birth 🙂
Thanks, Denise! Yes, it was a long birthing process. :/
Wow congratulations. So exciting. And so pleased for you. Loving the artwork on the front cover. Must be such a rush to final see it all come together. I have a blog but I’m guessing as I’m currently based in Melbourne then the answer will be get off your arse and buy a copy?? 😉
Thanks, Katherine. Yes, it’s a big rush. Surreal, in fact. We might be able to post you a copy! Fill out the form and I’ll send it to my publicist.
Okay, so, I live in New York, and I peeked. Gorgeous cover! And I’m sure the one that travels by sea turtle to North America will be just as gorgeous. I can’t wait to see it, or read the book! I’m so, so thrilled for you! Yes, it’s been an excruciatingly long wait, but will be so worth it. Should I? Yes, think I should. Ohp! Ohp-ohp-ohp-ohp… 🙂 Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to sign up to receive my ARC as a blogger and to like it on FB and Goodreads. Yay!!
D’oh! I already liked it on FB. That’s how I got here. 🙂 Did I mention, Yay!!!!! When you’re in New York, lady, call me!
I will definitely stop by and see you if we head to NY, Dina. It would be so nice to meet! THANK YOU for all your support and kind words from way back when I was self-publishing and scrambling for publicity. You’ve been a rock for me. xo
Huge congrats, Torre!! I can only imagine what an awesome moment this must be for you. The cover is gorgeous, by the way! Can’t wait to read it once it’s released in the States.
Thanks, Candace. I’m pretty fond of the cover too!
*invisible-horses around*
Na je nun ta sa ro un in gan jo gin yo ja
Ko pi han ja ne yo yu rul a neun pum gyo gi nun yo ja
Ba mi o myon shim ja ngi tu go wo ji nun yo ja
Gu ron ban jon i nun yo ja!
Very rough English translation:
“Best news ever. I have read this masterpiece of joy, nervousness, fear and hilarious self-inflicted misery, and the world is not ready for that much fun. Hordes of wannabe-Torres will issue out into the Pacific on makeshift “yachts” and try to find enlightenment. Acres of Torres will wash up on Californian beaches, suntanned, blissed out & quivering in mortal terror. This I believe.”
So that’s what Psy is saying! I’ve been wondering. Your Korean is so impressive, Mike. Is there no end to your talents?
So SOOOO looking forward to reading it!! When does it come out for Americans in Spain, Amor with a chance of being hit by a tramcar, Gaudí style?
Ha. Good question! If it gets picked up in Spain, I’ll have to talk to the publisher about taking on that rockin’ title. And also working a few additions into the book, like Gaudí and the tramcar incident.
I have a much loved original and look forward to the new (!) version. this time I can recommend, even better, GIVE it to my best buddies. Best of luck … it’s a wonderful read.
Thanks, Melissah! You can buy the US version too and then you’ll have the complete set of covers. 😉
Well I am so keen to see your book I requested a blogger copy AND I have pre-ordered one. So exciting Torre!! Can’t wait to have it in my hands 🙂
Great, Kelly! I’ll have my publicist send one over. Thank you!
I have a problem. I live in the US and I peeked!!
Now I want it now in my Kindle to take it everywhere.
I also want the paperback, cause the cover is so gorgeous! It would look pretty on my cat bookshelf (my cats run around on it).
Congrats Torre! Such an exciting time!
Thank you, Cristina! Your cats will love it too.
Oh my gosh! I’m so happy for you!
(Yes yes yes I know get out of hear you ridiculous American no you can’t has. But still.)
This is great news. The cover is lovely. Do you know if it will be available in ebook and/or audiobook too?
sigh… *here*
Thanks! Yes, it will be available in both ebook and audio formats. I’ve just been told that the US release has been moved to May 14. A little sooner!
You are gonna get to see Frida! Can’t wait to see you guys when you come to the states!
I know. Little Frida. Or should I say “Chunk” because my mum feeds her chicken necks for breakfast on top of all her other meals. Can’t wait to see you guys too! Miss ya.
Oops, I looked. (Can I pretend to be an honorary Aussie?)Love the cover and can’t wait to read it!
Thanks, Em. You can pretend. We’re all children of the world, right? 😉
Woo hoo!!! Congratulations! I may make my cousin in Australia send me a copy…mwahahaha! FTW!
Cheat! I’m sure Penguin will be happy with that. Thanks, Carmel.
Ahhhhh I’m so excited for you and I absolutely love the cover!!!
Thank you, Andi. The cover is a work of art. I love it too.
Hysterical. That single post sealed the deal. Your rendition of a keyboard doing the invisible horse alone deserves to go viral. I look forward to reading the book (I’m in Thailand but am headed home to the US – not Jersey – thank god – sorry – don’t beat me up Jersey dude – again – in exactly 7 months, so perfect). Never thought I’d say this, but thanks also for putting the image of a Jersey dude in my mind. Wow I must really be getting home sick. Peace…
Hehe. Thanks, David. I stole the horse from Google. But the lassoing man is entirely my own creation. It only took me 4 hours to craft. Enjoy your time in the US! Are you going back for good? No more Bangkok then?
Yay Torre!!! I am so glad that I just happened upon your site six months ago. I love your stuff.
Thank you, Millie!
I’d like to formally request your NZ appearance dates because I am taking you out to dinner and drinks wherever you are, you crotch bunny superstar.
Right. Enough of that. Must go pre-order/like/to read now.
CONGRATULATIONS.
Choice. True!
If we make it to NZ, we’re definitely doing drinks!!
So So So psyched for you!!! I love the book and I love watching this whole process. I cannot wait until it is a movie! Enjoy this ride!
Weeee! Thanks, Amy!
A huge congratulations! What an amazing blogger success story! I want to be you when I grow up!
🙂 Thanks, James.
WOOHOO! THIS IS WHAT WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR! I’m so excited and happy for you … and for all of us who have been dying to read it since it was snatched away from us so long ago!
I’m going to reblog your post, Torre, for anyone Down Under that catches my blog. And now those of us in North America will just have to keep rehearsing … which means lots of eating, drinking, and making merry … for you launch over here! Hurry!
And now I will join you in a celebratory Ohp! Ohp-ohp-ohp-ohp! – (which cracks my grandkids up – they think I’m cool – and makes my kids wince as they cover their eyes).
Thanks, Patricia! You’ve been a great support to me throughout this process, so I owe you an especially big hug. Here it is: ((((((o)))))). Keep on invisible horsing around.
Oh crap! I should read before hitting send … excuse the typos … this was just too exciting!
There is just too much to respond to in this post, Torre! Gangam style has a very special place in my heart, I freakin’ love it, and the “beached es” reference made me chuckle… You are truly an inspiration, I loved your first draft of the book and CANNOT WAIT to read the final (with the very pretty cover, I might add). Rock on Torre, we’re all rooting (and riding invisible horses) for you!!!! Now I’m off to follow all the above instructions….
Thank you, Sarah! Now get writing. I’m itching to read your book.
HURRAY! I am so stoked and sxcited for you. Also happy you are coming home. Well done.
*excited… that could have been read the wrong way. *facepalm* spell check next time.
Ha ha. All these people correcting typos that I never picked up on. Thanks Melody. Look forward to meeting your baby too!
Congratulations Torre, the book cover looks absolutely gorgeous! I’m so excited for you as you embark on the next step of this amazing journey. So happy you will be home also.
Thanks, Lauren. Assuming this is De Lange speaking, I can’t wait to see you.
WOW! Congratulations. Whoever designed the cover did an incredible job. That itself will sell the book, nevermind the incredible story behind it.
I agree! It’s everything I ever dreamed of. Thanks, Ryan!
Congratulations, Torre! Exciting stuff. Love the cover.
Thanks! x
Congrats! Can’t wait to read this. Just finished reading “Wild” so I think a story about an epic boat trip is a natural next step after reading about an epic hike 😛 Love this cover!
Tough act to follow. Thanks, Ekua. I hope you enjoy it.
Looks awesome Torre. I am so excited for you. Good luck with the launch and enjoy every moment
Yip! Thank you Caz!
I LOVE IT!!!! And, hilariously (or sadly) enough, as I was reading the first sentence Gangam Style was actually playing in my office. I know.
The good people of Thailand are particularly fond of that song. Thanks, Diana!
Congratulations! I have to say the cover art is stunning. Can’t wait to read it!!
Isn’t it? I’m so happy. Thanks, Ashley.
“Hey! You! Canadian guy! Don’t make me get the garden hose out because I WILL DO IT.”
I think that was directed at me? 🙂
Congratulations Torre! You are gonna be one busy gal this coming year…
I owe you one hose spraying when we meet. 🙂
Huzzah, huzzah . . . Your happiness is contagious.
🙂
I’ve never hated being American until this day! 🙂 I’m very jealous of all the Kiwis and Aussies out there. Lucky bastards! But I am also super excited for you. What an adventure you have been on and now you get to share it with the world, or well part for now. Looking forward to seeing what happens…. (ahem.cough.movie?) and of course looking forward to MID YEAR!
My US publisher just moved the launch date to May 14. Just for you, Meg. 🙂 x
Will this book ever sail its way to South East Asia?
Please say yes… please?
An English version might make the stores there if the book becomes WILDLY popular, enough to be among the tiny selection that they stock in Asia Books. 🙂 Otherwise, I’m sure you’ll find a photocopied version somewhere in the dodgy tourist-area bookstores.
If you’re after a translated version, you’ll have to hassle a Thai publisher for me. 🙂
That is so exciting Torre! Love the cover, I’m sure your book will fly out the door! That is so cool, amazing! Will order my copy now!
Thank you, gorgeous lady. xoxo
I will ride a sea turtle to Australia and pick up my own copy, thank you very much. 😀
Yes!! Please say “Hi” to the whales for me.
Sounds like your book will make it to the US market just in time for my Next Big Trip Probably to Thailand (Again) in July. Awesome!
Best of luck 🙂
Congratulaions on the book! I really hope to have the chance to read it 🙂
Hi Torre, wondering how all is going so just checked the website for an update. Enjoy your time back in Australia with family and friends. Hope Ivan is tolerating it all well.
On our way to Mexico next week, will keep you posted on life south of the border. Love you both, Carol
Started reading your book, got to page 13, so you saw a crime in progress and didn’t even call the police,just watched like it was all for your own amusement. What a pathetic excuse for a human being you are. Glad I only borrowed your book and didn’t waste my money making you rich.
The only pathetic excuse for a human being is a person who goes around leaving comments like this on other people’s blogs.
Before you judge others, do your research, pal: https://www.fearfuladventurer.com/archives/1068
And thanks for suggesting that I’m going to be rich. Woop!
Love your book! At the age of 65 I have committed to my first bareboat sailing holiday in the Whitsundays and just bought a 22 ft sailboat – two less items on my bucket list. I am inspired by your courage, determination and resourcefulness. Keep on adventuring.
Thank you, David! Best of luck with your 22ft boat. x
Hey Torre…thoroughly enjoyed your book. I laughed and cried with you and Ivan! My sweetie and I plan to go out and make our own discoveries on the big blue in a few years. Until then, I’ll keep an eye out for your next best seller!
Best wishes and fair traffic!
Mike and Nancy Allen
Colorado, USA
I quite like reading a post that will make men and women think.
Also, many thanks for permitting me to comment!